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Wednesday, 28 March 2007

diary - day 5

i woke to the to the tedious echo of the horn yet again.
i looked around and then relaxed a little, admiring the way that the birds chirped enthusiastically and the sun glared down at annmaree and i intensely.
wait
annmaree?
where were the others?
I violently shook her awake and elucidated the horrific situation.
they definitely didn't go to collect food etc as we agreed not to do anything like that until everyone knows when and where we are going.
we worried,
and worried,
and worried, but we concluded our discussion of possibilities and decided to drift back to sleep, though neither of us did.
eventually our impatient stomachs forced us up for lunch.
i wearily used my staff to boil some water for some luscious kumara, and that went down with alacrity and we flopped back, into a pile of frustration.
Why.
'why' was the word that was constantly on our minds.
we preserved our energy for half an hour or so.
but our thoughts were disturbed by a yell of triumph.
Alex!
we united as three frustrated, tired but excited room5ians.
we spent the rest of the day reasonably laid back, recounting our adventures.
dinner was, once again, kumara.
But as we stared silently up at the brewing night fall, something was not right though.
the sky shone brightly, yellowy.
And the moon was becoming full, but with a mysteriously unusual dark patch on it.
sleep is summoned.
please tell whether or not you like this style of a lay out, or if you just like it in a big block. thank you!

9 comments:

primprim said...

wow. your on day 5 already.
i've finished writing them but i still haven't put them on my blog. i like your style of writing.
remember that tomorrow is mufti day!!!
this applies to everyone. you also have topay $1 if you choose to wear mufti!
pim:P

IM A ROOM5IAN said...

thank you for reminding me prim and i am wearing mufti. are you?

Anonymous said...

hey kkkooooooolllll writing. I like the this writing better then the big block. It makes it more interesting.anyway thanks for commenting on my blogs!!!

c ya tomorrow

Kitty Kat said...

yes the style is easer to read...the only thing that I could suggest is that you swap tenses while your writing. one mintue you will say we became the next we become...other than that I LOVE IT!!

IM A ROOM5IAN said...

thank you everyone for the advice! it is extremely helpful! and sorry about the tense problem, it gets really confusing

Catarara said...

hi room5ian, um im leaving a comment on your blog cause u told me to..!~! :) how are you?

Mme Emma said...

I LOVE your writing style! Good point about the tenses, an area for improvement. I really like your use of adjectives too. I always enjoyed finding different synonyms and adjectives in my writing when I was your age. Keep it up!

IM A ROOM5IAN said...

thank you every one ill try too leave a comment on all of you blogs!

Kitty Kat said...

hmm that will be hard!