My Narrative Poem...

i have figured that my blog is probably the best place to get feedback from so... this is my narrative poem, i am all for feedback, tips and everything else, thank-you!

The air was cold and the air was crisp on Georges morning walk,

Off he thumped and along he bumped until he reached the talk,

"My dear, my dear!" a small voice cried,

"You must listen to me,

Hear her song, find her tower,

for that is where she'll be

she'll be!

For that is where she'll be".

the elephant frowned, then looked around

but nothing was to be heard,

So there he shrugged, then off he chugged

without a sound or word

He sailed away for a year and a day

listening for her song,

but all he heard was the crashing of waves,

he began to think he was wrong,

wrong!

He began to think he was wrong.

With all hope lost, at huge cost,

the elephant sat and wept,

on he cried, to stop, he tried

then finally he slept,

now in peace, a moment of lease occurred in his head,

then with a jolt, he woke with no fault,

back to reality and dread

and dread!

back to reality and dread

then all of a sudden it came to him like plum and strawberry sauce

it was her song, with no wrong,

an incredibly overwelming force,

his eyes gleamed, he had redeemed,

the track to find his love,

he followed that voice, without a choice,

as the sun shone above,

above!

as the sun shone above.

finally george reached a calm-looking beach,

where the power in the air blazed,

he jumped offf board and onto shore,

where he was truely dazed,

before him lay, i suppose you could say,

a twenty foot tall tower,

he gaped in awe, just before,

the rain began to shower,

shower!

the rain began to shower.

louder that ever, as pure as a feather,

that song persisted with flair,

then his eyes, without a lie,

were drawn to some stairs,

with only one care, he climbed up the stairs,

along the tower wall,

the higher he got, fret, he did not,

he responded to her call,

her call!

he responded to her call.

"My dear! My dear! Do you hear?

it's me, George, your love!"

"O let us be married, to long have we tarried",

under the stars above,

so they traded vowls, then watched by owls,

they sat on the sparkling sand,

and there they slept, their vowels kept,

they lived life hand in hand,

in hand!
they lived life hand in hand.

pic one

http://www.isle-of-man.com/manxnotebook/towns/peel/pi_rt1.jpg

pic two
http://www.seychellois.sc/seychelles_photo_gallery/images/seychelles_seybay.jpg

pic three
http://www.josephbarnettphotography.com/images/Tree-Dark-Sky-Sun.jpg

pic four

http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/fruits/images/large/plum.jpg

pic five

http://seascouts.ecn.net.au/vent/reports/2005canoe/calm%20before%20storm.jpg

pic six
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/ff/200px-A_single_white_feather_closeup.jpg

pic seven

http://www.furthers.com/images/OD-11001-RING.jpg